


Regret

by RobotCryBaby



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22875286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobotCryBaby/pseuds/RobotCryBaby
Summary: Drift has regrets. After his past runs into him, he wonders if Ratchet and the others share the same regrets.
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock & Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Regret

Drift sat on a stool at the counter of Swerve’s staring into his empty glass. The Lost Light and it’s crew had faced battle after battle back-to-back and it was starting to wear down on everyone; and everyone had their own ways of dealing with it. Chromedome and Rewind would escape to their habsuite and watch their favourite movies. Nautica would constantly try to goad Skids into joining a new game she created. Rodimus would play loud music and stay at the bar trying to bring up everyone’s spirits. Drift, normally, would meditate in a quiet corner of the ship but his processor was plagued with too many dark thoughts that only high grade Engex could chase away.

Swerve was busy behind the counter of the bar mixing drinks and looking exhausted. The minibot placed an order on a tray and sent a serving bot to deliver it to Brainstorm and Perceptor, who were having a very heated discussion about something smart and probably entirely ridiculous.

Drift continued to stare into the bottom of his empty glass. The latest battle had made them cross paths with some rogue Decepticons, one of whom had recognized him. _Deadlock. The mech had recognized Deadlock._ Drift couldn’t stop his processor as it ran away with the memory of his last battle.

_“Why, isn’t it the famous Autobot killer himself! Quit playing around and come join us, won’t you Deadlock?” The mech snickered._

_“No. The war is over and I’m no longer Deadlock, and I never will again!” Drift yelled, readying himself for a fight._

_The opposing mech laughed. “Oh please, you have more blood on your hands than Megatron! Even the worst of us never even dreamed of all the atrocities you’ve committed! Thousands of lives on your hands! And you say you stand with their survivors? You can’t escape the blood you’ve spilled, you will always be Deadlock.”_

Drift jumped as Rodimus clapped a servo on his shoulder, shaking him from his memory. “Hey bud, you okay?” Rodimus asked as he took the seat next to him.

Drift didn’t reply, just looked towards the door. “Waiting on Ratchet? Think he might be a while, Whirl took quite a bit of damage.” Rodimus chuckled.

_Ratchet._

_I’m only here because of him. He believed in me when no one else did. He saved me. He continues to save me now, he makes each day worth living._

Drift turned back to stare at his empty drink.

_But...he saved me back then, he never even knew he’d just saved the mech who would later kill hundreds of his comrades. He saved Deadlock. If I had died, high out of my mind in Dead End like I should’ve, all those mechs would still be alive. Be here, in my place, living and existing without war. I should’ve died back then, and....Ratchet....maybe Ratchet regrets saving me too._

A gasp shook Drift from his thoughts. Rodimus’ optics were wide, staring at him in shock; a hurt so deep that Drift could feel his anguish in his aura. Rodimus’ optics began to slowly leak coolant.

_Oh_. Drift hadn’t realized he’d been talking aloud.

Drift searched his processor for anything he could say that would reset all the things he unknowingly said, but his mind came up blank.

Rodimus leaned towards him, optics still leaking, and rested a servo on his shoulder. “You know a lot of us care about you. And...you know...I’m glad you’re still here.”

Drift could only sense sincerity emanating from his friend, but the doubt and dark thoughts in his processor drowned out the kind words.

Drift stood abruptly and shook Rodimus’ servo from him. “You shouldn’t be.”

Drift spun on his heels and left Swerve’s as quickly as possible without creating a scene.

_____________

Rodimus watched his friend nearly sprint out of the bar. His servo still tingled from the way Drift had swatted it away. He wanted to be upset but he knew that this wasn’t about him; Drift was fighting a battle with himself, and it looked like he was losing.

Rodimus wanted nothing more than to chase after his friend, but he knew that would be of no help. So, he did the next best thing and pinged for someone who could.

“Ratchet-“

**“Rodimus, this better be an emergency cause I’m a little busy still picking up pieces from your latest brilliant idea to get us all killed!”**

“It’s Drift. He...he’s not doing well.”

Rodimus could hear the doctor come to a complete stop at the other end of the comms.

**“What happened?”**


End file.
